Last year my wife had a pregnancy of unknown location, which is like an ectopic pregnancy or a miscarriage. Basically, the baby randomly died inside of her, and it needed to be removed as soon as possible or she would die.
My wife needed to be administered powerful drugs, so powerful that they had to be administered in a hazmat suit. If they failed, they would’ve needed to have performed live-saving surgery on her. I learned after the fact that in many American states, these procedures were illegal. If we were living in the US, it would’ve gone untreated and she would’ve died. I wouldn’t have only lost my kid, but the love of my life too, all because I impregnated her. Holy shit. Don’t mean to turn this into a political rant, plenty of other people around to do that. But that really hit me hard.
But for me, that wasn’t the worst part. The worst part was the waiting rooms. Even if I was too exhausted to think about what we were going through (sleepless nights were common), we had front-row seats to women going through the worst moment of their life. For months I watched helplessly as distraught women walked in; crying, screaming, in some cases physically assaulting nurses, as they realized the baby they’ve held for months is no more. I wanted to disappear into a toilet and have a panic attack, but instead I stuck my nose in my phone and wrote this song. What you’re hearing is a raw, instant reaction to what I was witnessing in that moment.
The artwork is an image by my good friend James Quentin Addison. I liked the metaphor of a dandelion. One minute, it’s a beautiful flower. The next minute, it’s gone forever. And that’s it.
credits
released January 26, 2024
CHOIR
James Quentin Addison
Daniel Altmann (The Cameramen)
Randall Boland (The Cameramen)
The Bronze Age
Maciek Buszman (Massieque)
Mark Charlesworth
Hank Chill (Ultra Shield)
David Clemmer (Sad Boy Union)
Jonii Vermeersch (Lonely Enclave, The CRTs)
Rachel Sallis
Richard Sallis
Jeff Yeates
ADDITIONAL CONTRIBUTORS
James Quentin Addison (artwork)
Mark Charlesworth (additional melodies)
Special thanks to Aaron Williams (Stock Exchange), Oscar Hose (Station Road, Stock Exchange, Borrowed Chords), Luke Schreiber (Luke and the Swells), Ashley Collins (Endling) and Gavin McIntyre (Noise Beneath the Floor) for support and assistance.
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